just that time of the month or the year or my life, but I'm in need of some change.
I feel bored with some of the things in my life. I love mostly everything in it, I just feel a lack of creativity lately.
Unfortunately, my first instinct is to hate everything in my beloved closet.
Here's the thing about me. I love clothes. But this is a fairly recent development. Before I came to college almost 4 years ago, I went to Catholic school. I had a uniform that kept me from being any form of unique, and I honestly liked that. I liked not having to worry about wearing the coolest clothes or looking the prettiest because no one else did. See, going to Catholic school is basically a privilege. You're supposed to obtain an excellent education along with outstanding morals. It costs to do this. And so most people that go there, they don't worry about money. It was normal for them to shop regularly at nice stores. Express was the big one. I remember a trend of these, like, weird scoop neck shirts from there, they had a lace border under the chest, and they came in basically every color. Every girl had one. I had to have one. Cuz I didn't have a style, and I thought, hey its cool and it looks pretty. I had two, eventually. One was green, so I would have something to wear on a dress-down day for St. Patrick's Day. The other was more me. Light blue with a floral design printed all over, smaller on top, and progressively bigger towards the bottom. I definitely always had similar tastes, but they changed over the years. I'll be honest: In high school I wore the same jeans like, everyday. I only started to get some small style when I dated my EX, the EX, because he was punk rock and it rubbed off on me (haha).
Anyway, I never had a huge closet, and I never really cared. 'Til college. But only because I could finally where whatever I wanted, and because I didn't want to wear the same pair of jeans and be gross anymore. I started to shop more, but not a lot. And then, suddenly, after a few compliments on a few outfits, I started to shop more and think of new ways to present myself everyday. Dressing up made me feel good, whether people stared at me funny or gushed about their love for it...if I felt good, that was it. And since I have to buy most of my clothes, well, I get 'em cheap. Weird shirts from the Salvation Army, anything from the Target or Old Navy clearance racks. Cheap plain t-shirts and fun accessories. Whatever. It's all about how you do it.
I do, however, have one vice when it comes to clothes.
I want American Apparel. I want it all. And its too damn expensive for me.
How does one go from 50 cents for a sweet collared shirt to 28 dollars for a flimsy acid-washed tee? It's rough.
I have a few articles. They are my passion. It is my porn.
And I want more. I will post some of my favorites soon.
Anyway, I guess the current issue is, as always, that I am broke. Anything I would like to do to put a smile on my face, to rearrange everything, well...it can't happen right now.
A couple of things I thought of, also, seem sort of...outlandish.
For one, I want to dye my hair again soon. But I want to wait for this black to completely wash out. I fear it won't for a little while longer.
I also need a haircut to get rid of the strange ends that have come from trying to grow out my pixie cut. I miss the ease, the 5 minutes it took to style my hair and have it look good. But I also missed having versatility. And also, there was the sometimes feeling like I looked like a boy.
Then there's the drastic measures I've thought of.
Like piercing my face.
But everyone's done it.
Lip would probably be annoying.
I don't especially like my nose.
And the only thing I can think of that would be sort of cool would be the septum...and I think it would kill and probably have some very negative effects on my nostrils haha.
For now, I will think about this, sleep on it, and hope that I will wake up and feel a little bit better soon. Good night.