2.11.2009

Debbie Downer

It's unfortunate that its only two days after my initial funk that I am still being called a Debbie Downer, despite the fact that I mood has picked up significantly.
Maybe I am just that pessimistic. I never really liked to think of myself as negative, but man, I do usually think the worst in every situation.
Maybe this feeds into that too much, but I would like to share with you my current likes and dislikes. Perhaps I should do the dislikes first. To end on a positive note.

Dislikes of the Moment:
- Feeling fat and constantly obsessing about the reappearance of a double chin and jiggly thighs.
- My hair, which is growing out annoyingly, and the fact that I hate it even though probably no one notices anything wrong with it.
- Being broke and being depressed about the next check, not being stoked about it.
- Being insecure about everything.
- People disliking the EX and pretending to be friends one second, that hating him the next.
- Friendship fading.
- My messy room reflecting my messy life.
- Thinking about the future.
- Slacking on reading.
- People who can ruin my mood with just their presence.
- Waking up exhausted.

Likes of the Moment:
- The weather, which has gone from icy ice cold to slightly warmer and sunnier with the promise of Spring.
- My hot pink Doc Martens boots.
- Imaging myself with a septum piercing.
- The promise of good pre-streets in the back room of Blockbuster on Wednesdays.
- Replacing jeans with leggings of all colors and designs.
- Music that makes me feel sexy, even if I have no one to be sexy with right now. (i.e. Minus the Bear, Kings of Leon, etc.)
- Thinking about tomorrow's outfit.
- A good bottle or can of beer.
- Vintage pins to spruce up wearing the same old sweaters.
- Seth Rogen.
- Having a little bit of cash on me.
- Being able to pull my hair back.
- Looking forward to the weekend.
- Pictures of good times.
- Big cans of hairspray.
- Brightly colored eyeshadows and looking good in the morning.
- My greenish tealish skinny jeans.
- My cell phone and texting constantly.
- Thinking about having my own place.
- Lines from Hiroshima Mon Amour that I cannot find online unfortunately.
- Jazz dance.

See, there is more I like right now. I just never let it settle in.
I gotta do that.
As for right now, its gorgeous out. I feel like I should be doing something, or going somewhere. But there's nothing to do (fun, anyway. I should work on my homework) and nowhere to really go until later. For now, I'll crank my music and keep the window open and the sunshine comin' in.

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