Time Well Spent

I am aware that I’m lucky to have a job, some money, a way to pay my bills.
But I am completely uninspired with my job (and I don’t make enough money to save for a car or to get a place of my own, or even with other people!), mostly sitting in my chair, waiting for 4:30, hating that I spend 8 precious hours a day cooped up when I could be doing so much more with the time I get from day to day. I was sooooo bored yesterday, I made a list of all the un-boring things I could do if I didn’t have to work this job, or work at home, or not work at all (but, of course, be financially secure..wouldn’t that be nice?!).

I would perfect cooking and baking from scratch. (Or at least make more attempts to.)
I’d visit Farmer’s Markets regularly for fresh ingredients for whatever I’m making that day.
I would go for little photo walks and explore my neighborhood and new places.
I would start everyday with a nice breakfast, coffee or tea, and lovely music.
I would work on writing of all kinds. Blog posts, stories, maybe even article pieces.
I’d read as often as possible (which I do now) and start a monthly Book Club (which I want to do).
When it rains, I’d have movie or TV show marathon days.
I would make it a point to do exercise everyday, whether it be the gym, a bike ride or walk, or even take up a class.
I’d plan to host monthly dinner or cocktail parties with friends and family.
I’d learn to sew so I can fix thrift store pieces I buy that need a little tweaking.
I’d keep my house/apartment neat and organized and always add little pieces to make it cozy.

And yes, I’m aware I could and should do some of these things anyway.
But it’s hard when you’re tired after 8 soul-sucking, inspiration-killing hours and you only have evenings and weekends to work with.
And very little money.

How About It Then?

I kinda had a feeling I would love this movie, and it’s official. Maybe it’s because I love radio so much. Because I interned at a station with a history in it…

I love rebellion, music, and seeing a bit of history in the things I love (even if it’s a theatrical embellishment).

It doesn’t hurt that one of the main characters was hot either…

Dream House

My cousin is getting married in November, so her fiancé’s parents held an engagement party at their house on the lake in New Jersey. I fell in love instantly. Something about water calms me and makes me feel alive. Not to mention the house itself was gorgeous…
When we raved about the place (from the location to the decor), her future mother-in-law said she felt so blessed to be able to have such a wonderful house in such a beautiful spot, which I thought was perfect. I love when people are thankful for what they have, especially when it is so amazing. You can tell they worked for it and on it to make it perfect, and I hope it’s not the last time I get to see the place (and maybe one day own a house just like it…).

P.S. That camera below should be coming in the mail sometime next week. Yes, I’ll have 5 cameras. No, I don’t really care. Actually, yes I do. I love it.

Life Improvement

Last week was very rough. I was having a lot of anxiety over life and mortality and faith and other things that will just make me sound like a stoner. It was not fun. But this week, I’ve been doing so much better. I’m getting over things a lot quicker. I’m working on it though. Still have my fearful moments. But you learn from those. And in this case, I feel so blessed and thankful that I have been chosen for some reason to be on this earth and live this life and breathe this air and taste delicious foods and wear pretty clothes and hug people and kiss and fall in love and share moments and smell yummy scents and learn and teach and grow and change and experience LIFE.

A while back, I read this and I’ve been wanting to gather a list of things I need/want to do to make this life an even better experience for me. I guess my fear gave me the final kick in the ass that I needed to do it. So…here goes…

• Stop cursing, at least as much as I do
• Take a vitamin everyday
• Drink more milk, even if it’s just a couple glasses a week
• Exercise more, even if it’s just once a week
• Take responsibility for/be responsible in all of my actions
• Stop eating fast food as frequently, or, when I do, order one or two things only (Yeah, I usually get at least 3 things)
• Listen to music everytime I drive (it’s sometimes the only time I get to at home)
• Start planning little day trips or weekend getaways.
• See more of the states and, eventually, the world
• Focus on the people and things I love as opposed to the people and things I hate/make me angry
• Start going to bed earlier, even if it’s just by a half hour
• Take more “me time” that involves less of the computer and more reading/writing
• Utilize all of my creativity through fashion, photography, and writing, all things that I feel passionate about but don’t give as much attention physically as I do mentally
• Keep in touch with friends I don’t get to see at least once a week
• Expel the bad people from my life once and for all
• Put my guard up a little more. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I usually get used/manipulated for this.
• Stand up for myself.
• Contribute to people who sincerely need it, whether it be by donations or through volunteering
• Stop and smile as often as possible
• Cry when I feel like crying, laugh when I feel like laughing
• Never let anyone change me but me
• Try something new as often as possible (food, music, makeup, activities, etc.)
• Enjoy every moment as much as possible and cherish everything I have because I am so very very lucky
• Cherish being young and being able to be a little selfish

I could probably go on forever. But this is good for now.

My dream…

If I could do anything in the world (I guess you can but you have to actually make efforts and strive to achieve your goals), I honestly would become a professional dancer. I love dancing. I don’t do it enough, and I obviously don’t do it for real. But I wish I had practiced it my whole life. I just always felt like the little dance classes I took weren’t what I wanted (I did jazz, tap, and a bit of ballet, not for very long). I think I’m more of a hip-hop, modern, salsa-ish gal.

Anyway…here are some dances I really love.

Basically, I love anything that fits with the song, that shows true emotion and almost tells a story. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to tell a story like that.

“If you wanna play it like a game…

Well come on, come on, let’s play
'Cuz I’d rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute…”

Sing it, girl.

{Collage made from photos from here}

Friday Night

Good day, yesterday. I got to see Whip It! which made me extremely happy. The movie was entertaining, funny, charming, and filled with badass-ness. The whole time I was watching it, I was thinking that you really do need to do the things that you love, no matter what. Life is short. And there’s only this one that we have. So you should do what you want to do, no matter what your family or friends think. Being happy is the most important thing.

After the movie, a bunch of us got together at our local haunt of choice for a couple of drinks. I hadn’t been there in months, and the last time I did was pretty sucky. But we had a blast. It was so nice to catch up with friends I never see anymore. It sucks that a handful of good people in my life have moved away or become so busy that I only see them on a bimonthly basis, or so it seems. But at the same time, when we come together, it’s so great. And I’m proud of them because every single one of those people is doing what they love, even if it’s not their full-time career. So kudos to you, I love you guys!

Side Note: I have my first job interview in 2 years this coming Thursday. Super-nervous. And the only thing that sucks about it is that I finally transferred back to my hometown, except I’ll have to do the commute if I get this one. Not as far, but still a bit of a downgrade. However, I’m still pretty excited. Fingers crossed, my friends!

Dream

I had a dream that I had a lot of 50 dollar bills in my wallet. I wish that were true. I think I only have 4 ones in there right now. Bummer.

Don’t you hate that? When you’re sleeping and dreaming and whatever you see happen is really good and you wake up abruptly and have to remind yourself that when you open your wallet, there will just be receipts and moths in there?

Shake It

So, again…I’m 22 years young, it’s early Saturday morning…I should be out somewhere shaking my groove thing. Is it strange that, for as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a hip hop dancer? I’m by no means as good as Ciara or Aaliyah (RIP)…but people do tell me I have some smooth moves. In fact, here I am…dancing in my Jazz Dance group for our final performance. See if you can spot me from my photos!

Oh, and I just noticed now the 1 1/2 stars we got ranked…once you watch it you’ll understand why. But then again…it’s not like you’d expect it to be that good.

In Your Dreams

I woke up early for me today (a little before 8 AM). I found myself checking my phone to see that I had only slept 5 hours. The only thing is, I wasn’t (still not) really tired anymore.

Despite this, I’m still in bed. I watched a movie (hey, it was free for me) and now I’m lookin’ through the internet, feeling pretty hungry and contemplating what to eat and what to do with the rest of my day.

One thing I certainly thought about was how vivid my dreams have been lately. I’m pretty sure that I’m talking and acting them out as I sleep. And its such a strange mixture of my past and my present. The things that I think about all the time and the things I try and push out of my mind.
For example:
My last dream involved me riding a ski lift through Wal-Mart (I’ve been wanting to go for days) and trying to convince my sister to watch Quarantine (I’ve been wanting to buy it for months). She ditched me (she usually does). At my old house (where I haven’t lived in 5 years?), I got upset over an ex about the same ol’ shit (happened all too often). Then, later on, I watched my mom leave for work in the same PJs she wears everyday (she doesn’t work and we were really proud I nearly cried) but my house was my school apartment (I miss you 124).

Crazy stuff. But right now, both of my parents are passed out (under the weather) and I’m still awake…aren’t I supposed to be the lazy kid sleeping until 2 PM?

Little Wish

It may seem like a simple dream, but man, I cannot wait to have a family someday. And for the little things, mostly. Obviously, to take care of and love my children. But also to invite their friends over for play dates. To cook dinner for my kids and the hubby. To lounge on the couch with everyone for movie nights.

I was inspired because I love when I visit a friend and their mom is so happy to see everyone. When they ask about your life and offer you drinks and snacks, no matter how old you are. And, this may seem strange, but I love how they almost constantly have the phone attached to their ear, sharing stories about their kids or their lives with their mothers or sisters or friends.

I really hope I am lucky enough to have that one day.

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