3.22.2010

Another one to add to the list…

This looks pretty damn good. I thoroughly enjoy movies that have a realistic take on love (Nights and Weekends and London are a couple of my recommendations). This shit doesn’t always work out. Or we keep trying to make it work when it won’t. Or we hold on because we are so afraid, every single one of us, of the unknown. Even if it could be good…

I’ve been single for a long time. I haven’t been really acted or felt like someone’s girlfriend since 2007, even when I was dating/hanging out with boys. Because of this, I relate to movies that don’t have the typical “happily ever after” ending. I find comfort in other people’s awkward romantic entanglements because…well, that’s all I usually have. It’s nice to not feel alone.

I always feel like I sound cynical. I believe in love. I believe in partnership and companionship and true friendship. It’s just so damn hard to find at this age. We’re all so selfish. And that’s probably a good thing, because when we get ourselves into serious relationships, that goes out the window. I want a marriage and babies and family dinners. But right now, I’m content with being committed to my closet, my cameras, and my computer.

When it happens, I think I’ll be prepared for it, taking all of this time to be comfortable with who I am alone.

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