4.01.2009

Well, I guess this is growing up.

I am truly beginning to freak out!
This is my last full month of college classes...and no, this is no April Fool's!
I am allowing myself to succumb to the stress that I've been holding back.
Mainly because the end of the school year always means more work (in my case, bunches of final projects and papers and even a final dance presentation this semester). But also because this is the last time I have to deal with any of it. And I don't know how I feel about it.

Yes, I know I've been through something like this before. Leaving high school was crazy, but I knew I was going to college afterwards. There was no mystery. I just knew I'd be sleeping in a bed three feet away from a stranger 30 minutes away from my actual home and walking onto a campus for class. The only thing I didn't know was who was going to be my friend in the end of all this.
Now, as college ends, I know nothing. I haven't just recently come to the conclusion that I have no strong goals in my life, other than the long-lasting goal - I want to be HAPPY. That's it. I don't really care how. Just as long as I am passionate about my life, about whatever situation I am in, and I am content with the way things go. Sure, I will have my rough patches, I always do. But whatever.

I just don't know what I want to be. I know I should be out there, posting my resume. But I'm not. I know I should be trying to look for places to apply, but I'm not.
I don't want my major (mass communications, I love radio) to go to waste. But I don't know what I can do about it either.

For now, I'm going to try to get my work done as best as I can. It's not like I have that much anyway, by other people's standards.

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