The Much Too Short Weekend

I may only have to work 4 hours on a Saturday, but sometimes it can feel like forever. And when it does, the weekend seems a lot shorter. I’m already back at work, and I literally just left the place. I’m thankful I’ll have the next two weekends off. That’s why I can’t complain much. It’s only every few weeks that I have to give up that morning. Once it’s over, I don’t have to think about it for a while.

Regardless, it’s always important to make the best of whatever time I have to myself. I spent a lovely night and day with Brad.

Saturday evening, we walked around the tiny campus of my Alma Mater, King’s College. This month (holy macaroni, it’s MAY already!), marks the two year anniversary of me graduating. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. Sometimes, I feel like I’m on this long summer break, waiting to go back. I miss it all the time. Walking around the campus was nice, but part of me definitely felt like it was really over. Maybe it’s because everyone I loved there left with me. Regardless, it was always such a beautiful and peaceful place in the Spring.

We topped off the night with pizza, wings, and beer…you can’t go wrong. Spent Sunday around flea markets and yard sales. It was a quaint and pleasant break from a hectic week. I’ll admit it…I’m nervous for this week to come. I am already counting down the days ‘til next weekend, and I do hate that I wish away the majority of my week for two days of freedom. But what can you do? Whatever helps you through the tough times, I guess. Here’s hoping you all have a wonderful and stress-free week!

Missing college…

Real life has yet to compare to my college days. Sigh…

P.S. I changed my blog title a bit…I dunno if it’ll stick but I thought I’d give it a whirl…I’m hoping to make some changes, but I always say that.

Old School…

On a boring, lazy, quiet Friday night in (yes, another night in for me), I really miss college. Yes, I still miss it…even after all this time. The real world has not matched the wonderful world of King’s yet. I’m sure it will exceed it soon enough…but ‘til then, it’s nice to remember…

There’s too many to go through…looking at these makes me really sad.

Changeling

Today ended up being a very trying day for me. I don’t know if it was my lack of sleep, my hormones, the full moon, or the nerves, but I was teetering on the edge of hysterics for most of the day. I had several quick breakdowns once I finally got home (one was triggered by the new Macy’s commercial, another by a sentence someone told me about 4 years ago). I know this is a good thing, the new chapter, the next step. But…I don’t know, man.

There’s so much to learn, so much to be done. But what kills me is, I already know this isn’t something I’m passionate about. And it’s fine because it’s money and it’s benefits and it’s a stepping stone. But I wasn’t prepared for this. To get serious. I don’t want to be tired at 9:30 PM. That’s not me.

I miss college. I miss power hour after dinner. I miss movie nights at Rafter’s room in the Ramada. I miss walking down the block and being at my best friend’s place or my favorite bar. I miss King’s Cup and Flip Cup. I miss blasting my music so loud and getting ready to go out. And not worrying about going out until 10 PM. I miss staying up until 4 AM. I wish there was a way I could do it all over again. Especially senior year. And completely different this time. For starters, maybe I wouldn’t cut my hair so short again. Among other things.

I know it’s crazy to say so soon but I’m scared of losing my youth. I don’t want to stop doing crazy things ever. I don’t want to come home from work and be home all night. I want to do things and see things. Be places. I will work for the future. I will work for the life I want. Even if it sucks for now.

College

I miss it.

I cannot believe its over.

I’m sad.

And to make matters worse, a mini-show I watch on Hulu just ended. Called Dorm Life.

The episodes don’t go longer than 15 minutes. Most of them are probably 5-8 minutes. It’s short but sweet, funny, and weird. I love it, it made me happy, and you should watch it too.

Well, I guess this is growing up.

I am truly beginning to freak out!
This is my last full month of college classes...and no, this is no April Fool's!
I am allowing myself to succumb to the stress that I've been holding back.
Mainly because the end of the school year always means more work (in my case, bunches of final projects and papers and even a final dance presentation this semester). But also because this is the last time I have to deal with any of it. And I don't know how I feel about it.

Yes, I know I've been through something like this before. Leaving high school was crazy, but I knew I was going to college afterwards. There was no mystery. I just knew I'd be sleeping in a bed three feet away from a stranger 30 minutes away from my actual home and walking onto a campus for class. The only thing I didn't know was who was going to be my friend in the end of all this.
Now, as college ends, I know nothing. I haven't just recently come to the conclusion that I have no strong goals in my life, other than the long-lasting goal - I want to be HAPPY. That's it. I don't really care how. Just as long as I am passionate about my life, about whatever situation I am in, and I am content with the way things go. Sure, I will have my rough patches, I always do. But whatever.

I just don't know what I want to be. I know I should be out there, posting my resume. But I'm not. I know I should be trying to look for places to apply, but I'm not.
I don't want my major (mass communications, I love radio) to go to waste. But I don't know what I can do about it either.

For now, I'm going to try to get my work done as best as I can. It's not like I have that much anyway, by other people's standards.