Love this

I can’t remember where I got this picture. But the poem is E.E. Cummings. And I love its strange and beautiful sexiness.

Yay!

And so begins a 4 day stint without work. I know I should be upset, because I need the hours and the money. However, I couldn’t be more excited to have a huge chunk of the week to myself. If it becomes a habit, though, I’m going to have to ask for more hours again.

Anyway, I have a bunch of things planned to make this week extra special. Some are definitely going down. Others I hope to make happen.

What I Will Be Doing: 

• Receiving two extra-awesome packages tomorrow
• Bar-hopping with my “homies”
• Day trip to Jim Thorpe (hopefully with the Holga)
• Sleeping in
• Exercising
• More organizing in my boudoir.

What I Hope To Do:

• Go to the Hometown Auction if it doesn’t rain
• Find a bathing suit I feel comfortable in
• Shopping at Wal-Mart (I want a bunch of vegetables, a plastic drawer set, and some basic toiletries)
• Not go through all my money
• Take plenty of pictures to remember these moments…especially Holga photos!

Plan on seeing pictures and hearing good stories…I hope anyway.

Moments like this…

make me very happy.

Can’t wait to have more soon.

Somethin’ wrong with that.

I don’t know if it’s my inability to sleep or my worry and stress, but I don’t feel or look much like myself these days. Makeup seems to fade quickly. My eyes have perma-circles. It’s disappointing. But I’m so uncomfortable at home. I miss my school bedroom. My comfy, slightly bigger bed (yes, my bed at school was bigger than my bed at home…not cool). My mind is so idle. I need to start doing more.

I guess I really need to work on myself physically. I’m trying to exercise more and take a multivitamin each day. But I definitely need to drink more water, eat more meals (and healthier ones too), and get out of the house as much as possible. I have a few fun things planned for my days off, on top of finishing up organizing my room and eventually making it a cozy place to be.

Just gotta be more care-free…

Just stoppin’ in…

I don’t have much of interest to say.

As we speak, I’m contemplating ordering the camera. It’s my graduation present to myself. I really want to take good photos of my friends, ones that are strange and beautiful and different then just a bunch of people huddled and smiling at the camera. I just want to make it look the way I feel.

Also, I have a four day streak of days off next week. Time to go to the Hometown auction and peruse the knock-off purses and eat delicious fries and drink iced tea out of the carton. Time to get the heck outta the house and do some shit.

On another note…here’s a photo I took yesterday during the storm. I tinkered around with it…I’m thinking about photography too much.

From Me to Me

I can’t wait to start making some real dinero. The internet may ultimately be a waste of time, but through it I’m starting to realize what kind of life I want. What kind of goals I’d like to achieve. For one, it helped rekindle my love for writing. Blogging isn’t even close to a novel, but once I set up a decent desk space in my soon-to-be-clean room, I’m hoping it will be the perfect situation. And I’ll do it again when I move.

Another thing is, I’ve realized I don’t take enough pictures. Most of the blogs I love are reliant on the use of many pictures, whether it be because of the clothing they wear or the stories they tell. There are so many times in my life, when I take a deep breath and feel good and the world looks good and I wish wish wish that I had a camera on me to capture that moment. A cotton candy sky or the vast view of the valley from the other side.

Though I have a digital camera and it works just fine, I would love something with better quality. And unfortunately, I just don’t have money to spend on things other than food, gas, and necessities. But even more so, I am very much getting into the idea of a Holga camera (thanks to Rockstar Diaries, one of my favorite blogs). The price on Amazon seems pretty good, but I decided to look through Fred Flare and found this gem. Though it’s a bit more money, it’s also a bit more, well, me. Plus I still have some money on a gift certificate…so…we’ll see.

Perhaps someday soon, I’ll get one. I can’t wait to have pictures like that in frames around my own place.

Image from Fred Flare

Insomnia

I don’t know what it is about being home, but I just can’t stick to a solid sleeping pattern. I barely slept last night and I worked my entire morning and afternoon away. I was out and about ‘til around 11 PM. I am still not tired though. It’s getting annoying. I watched 5 episodes of season 4 Weeds. I made oatmeal. I was in bed for the past 2 hours. I even had the lights off for a bit. Nothing is working.

So frustrating. Luckily I have the whole day off but I would rather not sleep it away.

I wish I had someone to share this with…maybe it’d be easier to sleep if I wasn’t alone.

Illustration by Jeff Plotkin