While it’s been a difficult week for me, it has also come to my attention that 2011 hasn’t really been my year. Okay, that’s not really true either. There has been a lot of good and I am so blessed and so lucky to have the life I have. But I’ve also found myself in a rut. I am 24 years old, time is flying right before my eyes, and I’m not living the life I want. (Sidebar? I’m not quite sure what life I want anyway…) I have a great family, great friends, and the greatest boyfriend kinda ever, but there are still things missing in me. I still live at home. I work a dead-end job that doesn’t pay me enough to move out or set out to buy a new car. These are things only I can fix. And I know I’m not alone. But my goodness, it is so frustrating.
However, I’ve actually started to take some steps. I’m surprising even myself with the tiny moves I’ve made thus far. And believe me, they are tiny. But for a shy girl like me, they are steps in the right direction. I am afraid (I am always afraid/nervous/anxious, even for good things) of change but it’s exactly what I need. I want to start living my life, decorating a tiny apartment and cooking cheap dinners and enjoying what I do for a living. Learning and growing and changing. I’ve stagnated. It’s time for things to change.
