The Truth Hurts

Sometimes, I want to shout it from the rooftops.
But I know I shouldn’t. And it’s better that way.

 

I guess…

Forgot to mention…

I just developed my first disposable camera. A lot has changed since the last time I dropped one of those suckers off (I believe it would’ve been 2005). Instead of one-hour or a week, your photos are done at Wal-Mart the next day. I got the disc. Most of the photos are from my crazy Wednesday night…

  But, another shot made me remember something I didn’t mention. E.M.T. (a.k.a. Ed’s Mystery Team) won first place at Pub Stumpers this week! We got a 30 dollar gift certificate for Shenanigans, so we won’t be paying for our food or drinks for a couple of weeks!
That’s the team, holding up the winning card! It was probably the highlight of my week…but considering I didn’t have it in digital camera form, I let it slip through the cracks.

Oh, and just for nerd’s sake…

 

my friends at the front of the line to see New Moon.

I got a new disposable today to bring to Tracy’s tonight. Hopefully, I will have some fun photos to share with you again in the nick of time.

It’s da freakin’ weekend.

Tomorrow promises to be good old-fashioned fun with a friend I hardly ever see anymore. Hopefully, the weekend as a whole will prove to be fun and relaxing at the same time.

So tonight, I’m staying in, watching a movie (or two), eating turkey leftovers, and relaxing. It’s been a strange and busy week.

Distractions.

When life isn’t going the way you’d really like it to, it seems like that’s the time you start to focus your energy on anything and everything else so you don’t go insane.

Lately, it’s been small things for me, like always having something to do, falling insanely in love with a particular movie (I don’t know why…I read the books and I enjoyed the cheesiness of the first movie, but this one was so good!), and just keeping a general busy attitude.

Unfortunately, when you find yourself with more free time, you realize what you had been doing the whole time. That’s not fun. But, before you know it, you’re back on track.

In the end, I think most of it is finally throwing shit away so you live your life instead of thinking/worrying/wondering it away. Calling these things distractions seems kind of harsh. Because, in reality, it has made me feel a lot better about myself. It wasn’t too long ago that I was worrying I wasn’t good enough or smart enough or confident enough or capable enough. Now, I feel more than capable and I know that I’m better than all of the bullshit.

Still…in the words sung by Sia in the song Distractions by Zero 7, sometimes “I only make jokes to distract myself from the truth.”

Giving Thanks.

{PaperTissue … What else?}

I got my first FULL paycheck today and it reminded me of how thankful I am for the job that I have. It was an insanely busy day, I’m assuming everyone is preparing for Christmas shopping come Black Friday. But I am finally actually making money. In less than a week, I will finally actually have my own insurance. And I didn’t have to do more than email a resume for this. I work hard and carefully everyday so that I can continue to do this and make money and have this schedule.

Since it’s Thanksgiving, I find it appropriate to say how thankful I am for the job and also, my friends, my family, my health, and my experiences. I have always had a tendency to fall into slumps and funks thinking my life should be so much more than it is.

But then I remember how many people have stood by my side and accepted me for who I really am (which I can honestly say isn’t always the easiest person to get along with). I remember that I’ve actually gone out of the country and experienced something on my own unlike many people I know. My family has accepted all my faults and dealt with all of my moods and episodes and done nothing but help me. They’ve supported all of the phases I’ve gone through. They continue to this day. And I still wake up every morning (even when I worry like the hypochondriac I am every night that I might not) and get to experience yet another day.

To everyone important in my life…you know who you all are – I love you so much. Thanks for being you and for letting me be me.

You Can Do No Wrong in My Eyes…

Seriously. Radiohead and frontrunner Thom Yorke never cease to amaze me. The music is so chaotic, and yet it makes complete sense. It’s genius. When I listen to their (or his) music, my mind gets a creative surge and I can’t help but feel any and every emotion the songs may evoke. I can’t even take it. It’s been nearly a decade since I fell in love and I have yet to fall out. In fact, I just keep falling deeper.

Thank you, guys. You make my life just a little bit better everytime.

Currently Obsessed With…

• New Moon! The movie (I want to see it again already!) and the soundtrack (It’s amazing. Favorites are Thom Yorke, Bon Iver, Lykke Li, and Grizzly Bear)…everything.
• Kristen Stewart’s hair. I cannot wait for my hair to grow! Not like that means I’ll have any chance at having hair this gorgeous.
  
• Triscuit crackers with cream cheese
• A glass (or two) of wine
• Never giving up hope or faith in my dreams…both the ones I make for myself while awake and the ones I have while I’m asleep. They have to mean something…