Spring Break

My break started at noon yesterday, but I have yet to go home.
I only live a half hour away from school, but I stay at school as much as I can. I am, nonetheless, excited to go home anyway.
I decided to stay up because I have work. I could just stay up til Tuesday since I have work again on Monday, but no one is at school anymore and there's nothing to really do.

Anyway, I don't have an exciting break planned. I'm going to stay at home until Thursday, when I will be driving up to stay for a night or two at my sister Maria's place. I did this last year too, and it was a ton of fun.

It's unfortunate that there will be no actual spring in my break. The weather is so fickle here in Northeastern Pennsylvania. Yesterday it was 53 and rainy. Today, its back to the 30s but sunny. But I want to try and get out as much as possible at home. Take photos or something. Be active.

I can't wait for summer, though.
These motion shots made me crave it more.


link to pictures

Drama.

Who needs it?

Always changing.

Yes, its the second time I'm blogging in the same day but...I have nothing else to do.
No one else is in the apartment and I am totally alone (or, as I like to say it "totawy awone", like Toulouse-Lautrec from Moulin Rouge! ). I guess that's okay.
Anyway, I decided to look through pictures.
I'm always ragging on myself in the worst of ways.
But the funny thing is, I'll look at pictures of myself, and whether the picture is from years ago or months ago, I always end up wondering why I hated myself so much.
I decided I will take you down a journey through memory lane.
It's only through the last 3 or so years of my life, when I got my digital camera during freshman year of college. But man, I feel like I've changed so much.
I have to laugh at this because it was when I first realized you can change the contrast and brightness of a photo, and I must have really liked it. I never do this now. I hardly ever take photos now either.
I was so excited to get glasses. But I still never wear them. Only at night.
Strange bangs. Didn't last long.
My fuchsia flash streaks. Believe or not, I was pretty depressed here. I don't think you could tell.
Did the headband thing for a while.
Also tried the sexy thing.
Totally emo haha.
I tried different hairstyles.
Lobbed all my hair off.
And eventually dyed it black.

Nowadays, as you can tell from my first blog post my hair is getting slightly longer and its still black. The color won't fade. I miss my brown locks. But looking back always reminds me that no matter how much I change, I'm still me. Sorry if this was boring. But if anything, maybe it will inspire you to go back and look at the pictures of yourself through time...its certainly interesting!

Lazy.

I cannot get outta my bed these days, completely dressed or stripped down to the bone. I am in love with turning off most of the lights and gazing at the computer all day. This is a problem. I pride myself on not watching much TV (Lost and Flight of the Conchords are the only things I make sure to catch every week). However, I've replaced it with hours on the internet, looking at blogs and clothing sites, wishing I had an exciting life. As much as I love it, come the end of spring break I have too get this showboat on the road. No more dillydallying. Good times, good drinks, and loads of memories. TIME IS FLYING.




But how can you resist something as cozy as this?

Short

Just had a successful trip to the Salvation Army.

All this for a little over 6 dollars. I hear blazers are going to be in this spring. But otherwise, I really just love cute skirts, flannel shirts, and anything that looks like its covered in rainbow sprinkes.
It made me happy to get out of the apartment for a while (have a Film Studies midterm that has nothing of relevance to my major but I'm taking because I needed the elective credits and I thought it would be easy...wrong) and it was a gorgeous day!

Spring break is coming soon enough. These weeks are just flying. And when I come back from spring break, I am one more short hiatus (for Easter) and several weeks from the end. Hopefully I will get my act together, take more pictures of my life, and enjoy what's in front of me. In the mean time, here's some things I would love to have in my closet as well, but unfortunately cannot afford.

Slumdog Millionaire better be one hell of a movie.

As promised, a recap of Oscar fashion and the event itself!
If you don't read the entertainment section of the paper, or watch the news, then you don't know that Slumdog Millionaire basically won everything it was nominated for, including Best Picture.
Last year, I had a goal to watch every nominee for the coveted spot and I accomplished. I want to see this movie, and all of the runners-up (though I did see Benjamin Button and loved it), but I'm very concerned that all of the hype may ruin my opinion.

Anyway.
Fashion.
I shall preface my display of likes and dislikes by saying nothing really absolutely JUMPED out at me. But its gorgeous dresses on gorgeous people.

Halle Berry isn't one of my favorite actresses or anything but she is a little slice of perfection (I prefer her with the long locks) and for a chick with a kid, she lookin' damn fine. The gold and black complimented her skin perfectly!
Penelope Cruz is so exotically beautiful and naturally sexy, I'm jealous. I've never felt this feminine or beautiful in my life. She looked like a princess.
I have a thing for Indian women. They are absolutely stunning. And their culture astounds me to boot. So Freida Pinto probably could've worn a sack and I'd still think she was gorgeous. Instead, she wore a John Galliano gown and looked incredible.
Meryl Streep is the bomb. She is so amazing. She looks amazing all the time. I don't care what anyone says.

Also, I might be biased, but Natalie Portman was perfection last night. She's so cool, she's flawless, and she looked fantastic. But I'll always think it so.
And here are some of my...least favorites.
For starters, I don't like Miley Cyrus. She is 15...16? I dunno. But she sure tries to act like an adult. Enjoy being a kid! Stop dressing like a slut! And that dress probably would be gorgeous on someone older, more sophisticated. Mean? Maybe. Sorry. But I just feel like she would've done better in something simpler or not as heavy.

Jessica Biel = Frump City. It's the Oscars!!! The Academy Awards! A tradition for over 80 years!!!!! And you are going to wear an ill-fitting white dress with a big flap on the front? Wow. Nice choice.
Viola Davis is gorgeous. I didn't see Doubt, but I don't doubt (haha) that she did a great job. But all I could think was that I could go to DEB in the mall and buy that exact dress for 7 dollars on clearance. It's just so cheap looking. That material is just bad.

Keep the sunglasses on Mickey Rourke. You scare me.

As for the winners...way to go Kate Winslet, even though you pissed me off earlier by accepting a compliment without returning one back (something I would do) and reminding me that celebrities really only care about the affection poured on themselves. Good job Sean Penn, the whole situation in which he won was hysterical. Good job Heath Ledger, RIP.

And one more thing I forgot to mention.
I love you Seth Rogen. I shall follow you anywhere you go. You look amazing.
What a change from just last year!
Also, this was the best part of the evening:


Enjoy folks!

Sunday = Fun day = Funday

I had just about the most wonderful Sunday you could have.
Aside from the fact that it had to end, because it would be even more wonderful if it could go on for basically the rest of my life.

Start off with a Chinese buffet lunch with my good friend and ? boy Brad.
I don't know if you can understand the depth of my love for Chinese food, specifically in a buffet form. All of the chicken and broccoli, lo mein, fried wings, steak, and green beans I can handle. And with soft-serve ice cream with nuts and sprinkles to top it off.
Then, after much debate, we decided to go see Coraline. I wasn't sure about seeing it, especially since there are a few other movies I thought about more instead. But I am so glad I did. It was visually stunning, entertaining, and to top it off, it was 3-D. It's the second 3-D movie I've seen in just a little over a month. Here are two great shots I loved. The garden part was so beautiful I could've cried.


Just so beautiful, and the main character is adorable. I'd love a miniature doll version of me...ya know, if it wasn't being used as a spy for a villain.

Afterwards, a Target trip, because I cannot get enough of their sales. I bought a pair of blue ruffled tights because I would like to work it in for an outfit similar to this:
I really want to start incorporating more skirts, dresses, and frilly girly things into my wardrobe. I am getting so bored with jeans. And with spring (hopefully) right around the corner.

To add to the wonderful day, a nice dinner in the apartment of DiGiornio Supreme Pizza and the rest of the boxed wine, and snuggles in bed watching the Oscars, which are, of course, still on.

Alas, I am alone now, to get ready for the week ahead.
Keep your eyes peeled for my opinions on the Oscar dresses and hopefully some thrift store purchases!

Hope you all had as wonderful a weekend as I had.
I haven't had much luck hiding my smile.

I am such a wussy.

I am starting to fall absolutely in love with the blogging community.
I am sure someone out there would make fun of me for following blogs, especially those of people that I do not talk to/will never know.
To be honest, I've had this situation happen before. I guess it rolls in and out. With any other pattern in your life, you like something, then you get bored and like something else, but you probably will always like that something anyway.
First, it was LiveJournal. Then Xanga. Then years of nothing until this, right here.
Just as I enjoy reading magazine articles and celebrity gossip blogs, if I can find an interesting blog of your average Joe, I will enjoy reading that too.
Just yesterday I fell in love with Rockstar Diaries. The reasoning for my wussiness? It is the first blog I've decided to follow and I'm doing so anonymously. Despite the fact that this blog isn't private...I just cannot bear anyone reading it. Seeing it and thinking, what a LOSER!
Oh well.
I want to keep this fun, and interesting, in the off chance that someone stumbles upon this too...they might think so too.

In other news, I am obsessed currently with wine, and its ability to make me laugh until I cry and/or it hurts. Last night on a whim, these ingredients created the perfect Thursday night in the apartment:



Throw a snack plate of pepperoni, sharp white cheddar, and Triscuits in the mix and you have yourself one wonderful night.
I need to start documenting these events more. I mean, seriously.
I have a terrible camera though. It's only a few years old, but the thing barely works.
Sad how technology keeps changing, to the point where you can order a product, and as soon as it lands on your doorstep, there's a better, faster model already.

Time to continue the weekend with another Coupling marathon.
Have you ever seen the show?


If not, you should watch! It's an amazing, older British comedy that only had 4 series (their term for "seasons"). They are only around 6 episodes per series. But its better that way, because each episode is gold. 6 friends, 1 pub, and tons of relationship and sex jokes. Like an even better version of Friends. In fact, NBC tried to do an American version and failed miserably. Some things we cannot do like the Brits. I envy the freedom they have on basic BBC channels that we can only achieve on something like HBO.

Anti-social

It's a gray, gloomy, chilly day.
Most people would probably hate it.
But I love it. I always have and I probably always will.
There is something comforting about this kind of day, because your internal instinct is to stay in, to cuddle under the covers, to just relax. It's kind of romantic, even if you're alone.
Which is what I feel like being right now.
Alone.
I love being social. I love surrounding myself with my friends or anyone I can communicate with. I am alone enough in my room.
But somedays, like today, I highly dislike the prospect of being around people.
Especially if they are not feeling the way I do, and they are laughing and joking and I don't really want any part of it.

Today, instead of classes (which I have to go to), I'd rather stay in bed with a never ending cup of tea and the lights off, flipping through the channels and napping on and off.
But alas. Class soon.

Money.

I may seem lame for saying this, but I am so happy that I've been keeping this blog pretty steady. I must say, when I'm walking around in between class, I think of little things I want to record on here.
Basically, I know no one is reading this. And that's fine, because it just feels good to have a place to rant or to talk about things I really like. Unfortunately, I feel the moment I share something I want or would like to do with my friends, I either get a discouragement or they want to do it too and they do it before me and then I don't want it anymore, even if I really did before. Yes, I am weird. But whatever.
Money has been weighing heavily on me considering the fact that I don't have any. I am three months away from graduating and I haven't placed my resume out there anywhere, though I do have an appointment to work on it next Monday. Then hopefully I will do something about it. But man, I am so not ready to grow up.
It sucks to want to do things, or want to get things for yourself (or need to get things for yourself, like a haircut or face wash or food) but you can't. Even worse when I see people around me say they have money when they really do.
I do not have any savings. I will be starting from scratch when I go out in the real world. Almost everyone I know has a decent amount of money in their accounts.
Yes, I've been stupid with money. I've never really been taught how to manage it (my parents are broke too, they don't know how to do it themselves) and I didn't start working until after my first year of college. Since then, the only time I stopped working was when I went to London. But I live paycheck to paycheck. I wanted a cell phone, so I have a plan that costs 90 freakin' bucks a month. If I had a family plan, like almost everyone else I know, I would be paying less than half of that to contribute. I also have my own junk heap of a car (a gray Buick, I really do love it) and its a gas-guzzler, so I have that on my shoulders too. Basically, if I need anything, or want anything...I pay for it. And when I make less than 300 bucks a month (its hard to balance school and work and wanting to have a life since I know I will have to work even more when its over), its hard to do this.
I am still very lucky. I am in college. I have a home, and I have food. I have a lot of the things I want. Most of the stuff I don't get I don't actually need.
But geez, I just hope one day I can stop worrying about it as much.

Always about the money.

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, my tastes and style has evolved and changed over the years. I'm sure everyone else has had similar situations. But one thing that has stuck with me throughout the years is my stingy spending ways. I'll be honest, I am a HUGE cheapskate. I can't help it. I can't afford to be anything else. Aside from being unwilling to spend more than 5 dollars on any item because I was used to 50 cent shirts from the Salvation Army and being lucky enough to find everything on clearance racks, I've never really had any problems with this.
Until a bit of expensive taste came in.
It probably began with American Apparel. 28 dollars for a thin tee is pretty ridiculous. But it was AWESOME and I wanted it.
I hold myself back. The cheapskate in me will probably always win.
But when the latex leggings became a trend, I really wished I could splurge on Kova and T or Members-Only. The cheapest I was getting with those was 88 dollars. I won anyway. Target came out with 13 dolla black lame leggings that rival those and were basically a steal in comparison.
Mine don't have the stirrups, but they're just as cute for a better price.


I am also always on the hunt for shoes. I got my Doc Martens (which run at about 110 dollars, which could get me a plethora of new shirts, a pair of jeans, and tons of accessories, plus lunch and dinner at the mall while I'm out and maybe several alcoholic beverages later that night) because I asked for only them for Christmas.


Its hard to find other boots at a great price that will hold up over time and are exactly what you want, though. I have always wanted the perfect tall pair of boots. I'm just discovering the apparently very popular (thanks to Gossip Girl) Chinese Laundry Over-the-Knee Boots. If you want any good pair of these bad boys, be prepared to pay well over $150 for them. I know, compared to other designer shoes, its not really that bad. Plus, I'd probably wear the hell out of them. But...I probably won't ever get them...unless Christmas comes quickly.

Those would make any skirt, pair of shorts, or even skinny jeans the sexiest things ever. I'd probably just walk around with them on and nothing else on a regular basis.

But anyway...that wasn't the initial purpose of this post.
I want to discuss the great things that can be purchased for great low prices.
Things I love that I barely pay for.

1) Bandannas! So great. I have a collection of 18 wrapped around the back of my bed post. Sounds kinky, right? Each one is a different color, and I love them. I haven't worn them much since I got my hair chopped off. But as a headband, as a bracelet, as a neckerchief, or even folded up and put in the back of your pocket, there's just something about that classic old bandanna. It adds a little spice to anything.
Maybe you can make out the collection in my room. 3 more have been added since this picture was taken. And yes, its a college apartment, so its nothing too pretty.

2) Anything from the Dollar Tree. Yeah, they don't have clothes (really) or shoes but they have tons of snacks and tons of cute trinkets (frames, baskets, holiday-themed kitchenware) that would brighten anyone's day up. I just went there today, dropped 10 dollars, and got 10 things. They may not always have the most trustworthy things, but anything brand name that ends up there is always good. Usually its just an overstock of stuff that didn't sell. Today I bought an Aquafina Facial Mist I can't wait to try. Before, I've bought Garnier Fructis' Surf Hair texturizing spray. Good things, good things.

3) It's obvious, but charity thrift stores are where its at. Salvation Army is great. There is a new one by my school now too, the Volunteers of America. I find anything from cute scarves to the weirdest 80s and 90s clothes. Go to SalVal on a Wednesday and its Family Day, which means 50% off every color ticket but one. If you can't make it then, there's a 50% sale everyday on different color tickets. Volunteers of America usually has a 50% off one color, and 75% off another. Amazing. I bought a shirt and two scarves for around 2 bucks once.

4) The clearance section of Target really is a godsend. And they are seriously on top of trends. You can find things that probably won't make it to the department stores for us normal, un-rich folk for a while. Floral skirts (they are in right now), the leggings I previously mentioned. Plus they have a real designer come in and make stuff at reasonable prices. Even if I don't buy stuff there, just knowing I could if I really wanted to is reassuring.

I am sure I can come up with more.
But I always say, splurge if you want to!
I think its nice to have nice, expensive things.
Usually, they are better anyway. They will last longer.
But keep in mind...you can always find something cheaper and just as great!

Check this out.

I am obsessed with this song, and the video is pretty cool too.

I love

Caleb Followill's voice and the songs "Nantes" by Beirut, "Skeleton Boy" by Friendly Fires, and "White Mystery" by Minus the Bear. Drinking an entire bottle of Arbor Mist Strawberry White Zinfandel and getting giggly. Giggles that turn into tearful laughters. Splurging on Taco Bell. Mario Kart:Double Dash for Gamecube. Making the best out of situations.

Almost done.

The weekend is nearly here. And its been coming quickly.
Unfortunately, though, that means the weeks are flying by.
We are close to March, which is close to April, which is close to May, which is the last month of my college career.
I am not ready.
I should really try to get ready.
Guh.

Stressful times, I tell ya.
Meanwhile, I'll just enjoy the weekend ahead.

P.S. I miss your voice.

Debbie Downer

It's unfortunate that its only two days after my initial funk that I am still being called a Debbie Downer, despite the fact that I mood has picked up significantly.
Maybe I am just that pessimistic. I never really liked to think of myself as negative, but man, I do usually think the worst in every situation.
Maybe this feeds into that too much, but I would like to share with you my current likes and dislikes. Perhaps I should do the dislikes first. To end on a positive note.

Dislikes of the Moment:
- Feeling fat and constantly obsessing about the reappearance of a double chin and jiggly thighs.
- My hair, which is growing out annoyingly, and the fact that I hate it even though probably no one notices anything wrong with it.
- Being broke and being depressed about the next check, not being stoked about it.
- Being insecure about everything.
- People disliking the EX and pretending to be friends one second, that hating him the next.
- Friendship fading.
- My messy room reflecting my messy life.
- Thinking about the future.
- Slacking on reading.
- People who can ruin my mood with just their presence.
- Waking up exhausted.

Likes of the Moment:
- The weather, which has gone from icy ice cold to slightly warmer and sunnier with the promise of Spring.
- My hot pink Doc Martens boots.
- Imaging myself with a septum piercing.
- The promise of good pre-streets in the back room of Blockbuster on Wednesdays.
- Replacing jeans with leggings of all colors and designs.
- Music that makes me feel sexy, even if I have no one to be sexy with right now. (i.e. Minus the Bear, Kings of Leon, etc.)
- Thinking about tomorrow's outfit.
- A good bottle or can of beer.
- Vintage pins to spruce up wearing the same old sweaters.
- Seth Rogen.
- Having a little bit of cash on me.
- Being able to pull my hair back.
- Looking forward to the weekend.
- Pictures of good times.
- Big cans of hairspray.
- Brightly colored eyeshadows and looking good in the morning.
- My greenish tealish skinny jeans.
- My cell phone and texting constantly.
- Thinking about having my own place.
- Lines from Hiroshima Mon Amour that I cannot find online unfortunately.
- Jazz dance.

See, there is more I like right now. I just never let it settle in.
I gotta do that.
As for right now, its gorgeous out. I feel like I should be doing something, or going somewhere. But there's nothing to do (fun, anyway. I should work on my homework) and nowhere to really go until later. For now, I'll crank my music and keep the window open and the sunshine comin' in.

Bummer.

I hate funks with no explanation.
I hate when, one second ago I was fine and the next I feel like I don't wanna leave my bed.
I know I need to make some sort of life path, some decision on how I want to live my life. But it is so damn hard for me, for some strange reason, to make any decision, especially when that decision can change things I've become so used to.

I can sit around, be single, see where my life takes me, see how my situations pan out.
Or I can try, again, to be in something that I am not sure I want to be in because I'm not sure if its my heart or my mind that's keeping me back.
Does that make sense? Probably not. I don't make much.

In other news, I had a decent weekend.
Drank on Thursday. Watched movies on Friday. Stayed in with roomie Lauren and best friend Rafter on Saturday. Went to a car show in Philly with dad and sister yesterday.
I still want to get my septum pierced. If I won't loathe myself too much for spending money that I shouldn't really spend on it this weekend, I think I will do it.
This week doesn't feel like it will be that great.
So maybe it will make it better.
Or maybe it will make it worse.
Whatever.

On my mind.

1. A trustworthy and safe septum piercing will set me back 60 bucks. But right now, its just a matter of when will I do it, not if I will do it.
2. I love money. Hate situations involving money. I am broke. I need a quick buck. And no way to make it.
3. I have no idea what to do with my life, but I better get a move on with everything, or I'm going to be fucked.
4. I'm not getting fucked.

Admit it.

You are insecure.
Maybe not everyday.
But you are, sometimes.
Maybe its because you had a shitty day. Or maybe its because that boy/girl you like doesn't like you back and is banging someone way hotter than you. Or maybe its just because you hated looking at yourself that morning in the mirror.
So why do we continue to try and give good advice by discouraging people to do something they want to do? Or, even worse, why are we talking about what we consider to be poor decisions other people have made behind their backs?
Yes...I am a victim of it. And sure, I've seen some ugly hairstyles, or due jobs, or ill-fitting clothes.
But ya know what? Half of the time I do it, I think its just because I am so damn insecure that I want to feel good that I'm not the only one fucking up.

The reason I post this is because I am seriously considering this septum piercing.
Because I want to.
Not for anyone else.
Not to have people fawn or judge.
For me.
To enjoy.
To feel good about myself, or to try something fun so I don't have another regret on the list, right?

I'm just hoping that people will shut their mouths.
Or, even better, that I won't give a fuck if they can't.

Things I love/want/like now

As is customary for anyone who can't always get what they want, I tend to become obsessed with things. Maybe not crazy-style obsessed, but ya know, I daydream about the outfits I'd wear with that pair of boots. Or I imagine what he would kiss like. Or I wonder what that meal on Food Network would taste like. Or whatever.

I decided to share some things I am thinking about, that I like, or that I may want to buy or do or get somehow someday.

For starters, since I'm so desperate for a bit of change in my life, here's the things i have in mind.
My hair is growing out and I really just want a nice, fun, short 'do. I'm not looking to grow it past my chin, but to have a fun, messy, girly bob would be nice. As much as I loved the short hair and the ease it brought, I began to get insecure with it.
I am kinda obsessed with this 'do, and its actually kind of the reason I decided to dye my hair black.

I am all about something fun, easy, and messy. And I really just need a trim and shape up. Unfortunately, I can't afford it yet.

Then, change a bit more drastic. A face piercing. The septum to be exact. It's so weird and yet strangely attractive sometimes. I want something cool, to try something different, but I really don't think I could pull it off. At any rate, my mind wanders to it.
I wish I had the balls enough to do it. I mean, you could always take it out. But my dad would probably murder me. Scratch that...he would murder me.

Clothes-wise, I am obsessed with leggings. For some reason, as much as I will always love jeans with the rest of the world, I love changing it up. I already have a few great pairs (Gold lame, black lame, floral, magenta spandex, plus a variety of tights), but I always want more. And American Apparel is the way to go. These are my current favorites:


Honestly, the crazier the better for me. Too bad they are wwwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyy expensive.

And, for a long time now, I've wanted a pair of Nike high tops.

Of course, these are also expensive.
I'm keepin' them all on my wishlist. Maybe I'll hit the jackpot someday. Or get some balls.